btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
