Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
