I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
