the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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