I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
