You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
