Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
