Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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