You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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