I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
