yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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