I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
