just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
