so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
