At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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