Duck Duck Cougar?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
