Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
