Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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