I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
