Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
