know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
