She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
