Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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