3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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