forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize