Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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