Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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