This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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