I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
