i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
