apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
