If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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