Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
