I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
