Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
