My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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