Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
