So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
