she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
