Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
