he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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