I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
