I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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