If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
