Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
