Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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