these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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