She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
she peed on how many people?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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