Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
you didnt know i had herpes?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
