Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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