Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
