And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
We have so much sex to catch up on
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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